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                        Children with Disabilities 

 

Finding out that your child is differently able is one of the most shattering things that can happen to parents. It may happen at birth, after an illness or accident, or you may discover something wrong as your child develops. You may go through many of the emotions people experience after a sudden, major loss. You may feel grief at the loss of dreams for your child's future and worry about their quality of life. 

Big changes for parents and families may cause stress and pressure on relationships. It will help you and your child if you seek early support from professionals, family, and friends. Other parents in the same situation can be helpful, too. It's also important to take time to look after yourself. 

Remember that every child has different abilities. Children who are differently able can lead joyful lives, bring joy to others, and achieve a wonderful quality of life.

Quality of life
Quality of life is not about ability. It's about your child having happy times, feeling well, safe and comfortable, feeling pride in what they can do, and being a lovable person. Differently able children can lead positive, happy lives and bring joy to themselves and others.
 
Your feelings
When you first realise your child is differently abled, you may feel the grief that many people feel after a loss. This can include shock, disbelief, anger, blame, guilt, sadness, questioning why it happened to you and your child, and panic or fear that you won't be able to cope. 

These feelings can (but may not) come back throughout your child's life as new losses happen, e.g., if your child can't attend the local school, make friends, or become independent. So, while you can achieve some healing, it's not just one loss but a loss that may happen repeatedly. Take time to grieve when you need to. You don't have to manage this alone, as help is available.

How well you cope with your own feelings and your child's ability depend on lots of things:

What sense can you make of what has happened to your child (what you tell yourself about it)? This can be affected by how well it was explained to you and what the cause was - 
 

• Your partner's reactions and how they cope

• The amount of support you have from family and the people around you

• The amount of respite you have 

• The relationship you build with your child 

• The quality of life your child has

• The effect it has on your family life and working life 

• For some people, support from their religious faith

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If you have negative feelings towards your child that won't go away, it's important to get help. Remember, many parents feel this way at times.

To read the full document, please feel free to download it below.